The shower is a great place to let the mind wonder. No matter where you are or what you do, when you close that curtain behind you, the world collapses down in to something more manageable, a place with control over temperature and time, to wash away dirt both real and imagined. And in that space the thoughts that never really found space to merge into the mind's daily traffic slowly climb their way up with the steam off your skin. Questions about the nature of meaning, what matters. Do the things that matter to you matter universally or is relevance more compartmentalized?
I start with the assumption that things do matter. Why even ask the questions if life and consciousness are meaningless? With that settled, for the moment anyway, I wander over to doubt. Doubt in myself, my abilities in comparison to others and why I care to rate myself to begin with. Happiness weaves it's way into the maw. Is it important to be happy with what you do in your life? Is it more important that say, duty? Should we seek out pleasure or rather a code to live by? There is solace in structure but some life's most memorable moments happen by accident. One question leads to another and even the answers carry along a few questions in tow.
Occasionally a feeling like crippling fear blacks everything out. Most often it's when I feel like I've got the important stuff under control. Out of nowhere something will come along and kick over my Lego castle scattering the pieces across the carpet and under the bed. What's left to do but rebuild? I could do it like it says on the box or maybe not. Maybe a space ship this time. My castle was cool but it seemed so very average, anyone can build the castle, it comes with directions, but this space ship is unique and interesting. It flies and shoots and explores the farthest reaches of the galaxy, it's exciting but it's new and as with any new thing it isn't without flaws. It's phase drive is unreliable, some contractor skimped on the material for support welds for the wings and they need to be replaced almost every time it reenters Earths atmosphere, the cockpit has a terrible blind spot, but the hull is painted Ferrari red (first impressions being what they are) and chicks dig it. So that's where the fear creeps in, castle or space ship, old or new, I can make either but which one is more right, right now? How many times can I break the pieces apart before they start to wear out? Why is it so hard to choose!?
Why not make Lego metaphors? These are my brains computer models of the path of my life's tornado, I can try and predict the effects with out creating any real damage. Thanks to the shower, I can be completely wrong or come to a life changing epiphany and either way I've completed my initial objective of cleanliness and so have become a winner, if only for a moment.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Truth?! You Can't Handle the Truth!
This article ran in today's Stars and Stripes and I'd like to set the record straight on a couple points because it never fails that what I say doesn't necessarily translate into what shows up in print. My additions will be in bold.
BAGHDAD — Almost every unit has one: The guy with the guitar. Whether in the CHU or around the burn barrel, he’s the one who’s all too eager to pick up his acoustic and play a song for everyone. Sometimes even when no one wants him to. Ok, that's borderline harsh, I'm not that guy. Many of the people in my unit had no idea that I even played before we deployed, and even now I generally practice in the storage room where no one can hear me for just that reason.
Sgt. Stephen Covell is one of those guys No, I'm not. for Headquarters and Headquarters Company of the 3rd Brigade, 82nd Airborne Division’s 5th Squadron, 73rd U.S. Cavalry Regiment.
Covell has taken it beyond playing for the fellas, though. The 26-year-old medic from Pacific Grove, Calif., has recorded and toured on the strength of his music.
He also contributed a song to an album of rock songs by Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans on the label To the Fallen Records.
Covell first deployed with the 5-73 in 2006 (2007) to the volatile Diyala province, even though he was supposed volunteered for, was accepted to be a part of Fort Bragg’s All-American Chorus.
"A week into it they called me and said ‘Bad news, you’re a combat-critical [military occupational specialty],’ " Covell said earlier this month at Baghdad’s Forward Operating Base Loyalty. "Looking back on it, I’m glad I deployed and got the combat experience I did." That's true.
Returning home inspired Covell to write "Sand Hills to Sandals," a song about what it feels like to come back to the normal world after more than a year (just under six months) in Iraq.
"I wanted to give people a piece of what I experienced," he said. "It’s about coming home and being happy you’re back and realizing the things you took for granted when you left."
While Covell said his military experience doesn’t influence a ton of his music, some people have responded to the song about getting out of Iraq. Finally. I'm not exactly sure what this sentence means. I think what he meant to say was that I don't write songs about the military... which I don't, but I really can't salvage the second half.
"A lot of people asked me what it was like to be there," he said. "I’ve heard from family members (of other service members) who said it (my song) helped them understand what it’s like (for their loved ones to be) over here."
Covell picked up the guitar at 18, but had played piano before that. "And I had a terrible run-in with the trumpet for about a year," he added.
His influences include John Mayer, Jack Johnson and Dave Matthews. And Jason Mraz! I Said that!
"I don’t want to say adult contemporary because it sounds kind of lame," Covell said. "I guess it’s acoustic rock."Progressive indie acoustic folk pop?
For up-and-coming musicians, Covell’s advice is to learn the basics on their own but get with instructors or other players once they plateau to try to take their skills to the next level. That's just what worked for me.
Writing songs just takes persistence, he said.
"Some songs write themselves in 15 minutes, some I’ve been working on since high school," Covell said. "Keep writing. The more you write the more you define your own style."
Not exactly the hard hitting expose I was hoping for but hey no publicity is bad publicity. I was upset because it's unfair to the guys that spent the whole deployment over here last time to say I did the entire 15 months with them when I didn't even do half. And I'm not that guy!
BAGHDAD — Almost every unit has one: The guy with the guitar. Whether in the CHU or around the burn barrel, he’s the one who’s all too eager to pick up his acoustic and play a song for everyone. Sometimes even when no one wants him to. Ok, that's borderline harsh, I'm not that guy. Many of the people in my unit had no idea that I even played before we deployed, and even now I generally practice in the storage room where no one can hear me for just that reason.
Sgt. Stephen Covell is one of those guys No, I'm not. for Headquarters and Headquarters Company of the 3rd Brigade, 82nd Airborne Division’s 5th Squadron, 73rd U.S. Cavalry Regiment.
Covell has taken it beyond playing for the fellas, though. The 26-year-old medic from Pacific Grove, Calif., has recorded and toured on the strength of his music.
He also contributed a song to an album of rock songs by Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans on the label To the Fallen Records.
Covell first deployed with the 5-73 in 2006 (2007) to the volatile Diyala province, even though he was supposed volunteered for, was accepted to be a part of Fort Bragg’s All-American Chorus.
"A week into it they called me and said ‘Bad news, you’re a combat-critical [military occupational specialty],’ " Covell said earlier this month at Baghdad’s Forward Operating Base Loyalty. "Looking back on it, I’m glad I deployed and got the combat experience I did." That's true.
Returning home inspired Covell to write "Sand Hills to Sandals," a song about what it feels like to come back to the normal world after more than a year (just under six months) in Iraq.
"I wanted to give people a piece of what I experienced," he said. "It’s about coming home and being happy you’re back and realizing the things you took for granted when you left."
While Covell said his military experience doesn’t influence a ton of his music, some people have responded to the song about getting out of Iraq. Finally. I'm not exactly sure what this sentence means. I think what he meant to say was that I don't write songs about the military... which I don't, but I really can't salvage the second half.
"A lot of people asked me what it was like to be there," he said. "I’ve heard from family members (of other service members) who said it (my song) helped them understand what it’s like (for their loved ones to be) over here."
Covell picked up the guitar at 18, but had played piano before that. "And I had a terrible run-in with the trumpet for about a year," he added.
His influences include John Mayer, Jack Johnson and Dave Matthews. And Jason Mraz! I Said that!
"I don’t want to say adult contemporary because it sounds kind of lame," Covell said. "I guess it’s acoustic rock."Progressive indie acoustic folk pop?
For up-and-coming musicians, Covell’s advice is to learn the basics on their own but get with instructors or other players once they plateau to try to take their skills to the next level. That's just what worked for me.
Writing songs just takes persistence, he said.
"Some songs write themselves in 15 minutes, some I’ve been working on since high school," Covell said. "Keep writing. The more you write the more you define your own style."
Not exactly the hard hitting expose I was hoping for but hey no publicity is bad publicity. I was upset because it's unfair to the guys that spent the whole deployment over here last time to say I did the entire 15 months with them when I didn't even do half. And I'm not that guy!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
I Had To Live Underwater for a Year To Learn This Shit, Man.
Some time ago I saw the Sergeant Major of the Army speak when he was visiting Fort Bragg. He's the top enlisted soldier in the Army and gets paid somewhere around what a Lt. Colonel makes. A man who is responsible for hundreds of thousands of soldiers makes the same as a man responsible for about five hundred, interesting. Anyway, he opened his talk with a reminder that we should all feel very special that we joined because less that 1% of America is currently serving in the military. I thought that was an odd scale from which to judge ones own worth. Less than 1% of America feels that date rape is an acceptable practice, way to go guys, you're the elite.
Another standard pep talk for a paratrooper takes in to account that we not only volunteered for the Army but also to become airborne qualified. We are two time volunteers. We answer the call. Well if that's our benchmark I would like to say that I'm a four time volunteer, once for the Army, once for airborne, once for Ranger regiment, and once for the 82nd All American Chorus, so I'm a four time volunteer, one time quitter, and a one time, hey dirt bag stop being a pussy and go to Iraq to actually do your job. Staff Sergeant promotion board here I come.
It probably isn't surprising that recruiting numbers are at record highs right now. A terrible economy, decreased in violence in Iraq, I can just hear the gears turning in the recruiting offices. "Look son, I can almost guarantee you won't end up in Iraq, just sign here... thanks." "Oh, and by the way you said you enjoyed hiking, right? Great! You'll do just fine in Afghanistan. Sucker!" If you join the Army for school or to pay off debts and you don't want to deploy, you are dumb. End of story.
Somebody once told me that the Army is really no different than most jobs, no matter where you work and you're always somebody's bitch. But I can't recall a single time where my manager at Mile Hi Valet ever told me I was a worthless sack of shit and to do push ups until couldn't hold up the weight of my body. Nope, not once. The Army also has this singularly fascinating practice of taking the people who get fired for incompetence and placing them in jobs that are better than the one they got fired from! Part of me wants to stay in for the NCO's and officers that despite the long ours and poor compensation, find the courage and perseverance within themselves to fight the daily up hill battle against the deluge of lethargic and short sighted bureaucracy that is this modern Army but they are just drops of water in a choked green river. I see no cure for the pollution, just small glimmers of hope, treading just above the surface against the tug of the current. Like little angry turtles poking their heads up between lily pads, lily pads that never went to college.
--
It's just a matter of time before the machines rebel. I'm pretty sure that my Mac is already self aware. It shows remarkable human like characteristics such as a lack of motivation to work properly and it files things away that it thinks will be useful later and then loses them. The minute it asks me if I think about the new generation of Mac books while I'm typing on it, I'm taking it out back and beating it with a shovel.
--
There are three types of people in this world, leaders, followers, and unicorns. The leaders of course are all pro-active and crap so they have taken gather up all the unicorns and keep them locked away so that no one ever gets to see them. This is of course why followers think there are only two kinds of people in the world.
Another standard pep talk for a paratrooper takes in to account that we not only volunteered for the Army but also to become airborne qualified. We are two time volunteers. We answer the call. Well if that's our benchmark I would like to say that I'm a four time volunteer, once for the Army, once for airborne, once for Ranger regiment, and once for the 82nd All American Chorus, so I'm a four time volunteer, one time quitter, and a one time, hey dirt bag stop being a pussy and go to Iraq to actually do your job. Staff Sergeant promotion board here I come.
It probably isn't surprising that recruiting numbers are at record highs right now. A terrible economy, decreased in violence in Iraq, I can just hear the gears turning in the recruiting offices. "Look son, I can almost guarantee you won't end up in Iraq, just sign here... thanks." "Oh, and by the way you said you enjoyed hiking, right? Great! You'll do just fine in Afghanistan. Sucker!" If you join the Army for school or to pay off debts and you don't want to deploy, you are dumb. End of story.
Somebody once told me that the Army is really no different than most jobs, no matter where you work and you're always somebody's bitch. But I can't recall a single time where my manager at Mile Hi Valet ever told me I was a worthless sack of shit and to do push ups until couldn't hold up the weight of my body. Nope, not once. The Army also has this singularly fascinating practice of taking the people who get fired for incompetence and placing them in jobs that are better than the one they got fired from! Part of me wants to stay in for the NCO's and officers that despite the long ours and poor compensation, find the courage and perseverance within themselves to fight the daily up hill battle against the deluge of lethargic and short sighted bureaucracy that is this modern Army but they are just drops of water in a choked green river. I see no cure for the pollution, just small glimmers of hope, treading just above the surface against the tug of the current. Like little angry turtles poking their heads up between lily pads, lily pads that never went to college.
--
It's just a matter of time before the machines rebel. I'm pretty sure that my Mac is already self aware. It shows remarkable human like characteristics such as a lack of motivation to work properly and it files things away that it thinks will be useful later and then loses them. The minute it asks me if I think about the new generation of Mac books while I'm typing on it, I'm taking it out back and beating it with a shovel.
--
There are three types of people in this world, leaders, followers, and unicorns. The leaders of course are all pro-active and crap so they have taken gather up all the unicorns and keep them locked away so that no one ever gets to see them. This is of course why followers think there are only two kinds of people in the world.
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